Little Rosa, Lotsa Trouble -- Part 5

I could hear the shufflin’ feet and low moans of Little Rosa's zombie army approaching, through the forest I'd just scrambled through. An eerie-type green light glowed beyond the hills behind Guiseppe's place.

"Quick, to the base-a-ment, we must prepare-a for a-battle!" shouted Guiseppe.

We done bolted down the stairs and into Guiseppe's basement. He pulled on the light string, and it revealed weapons of all types - swords, guns, axes, even explosives - perfect for taking on the occasional zombie army or some such threat to our way of life in these parts.

It was almost like he had experience dealing with the undead and such.

"Wow! Where'd you get all this..."

"Shudd-upah your mouth, Red! There is no time for chit-a and a-chat! Is for Gypsy Purposes!"

"OKAY! Jeez, lighten up, Guiseppe. Hey, what's this doohickey?" I said as I picked up what looked like a large tube with some crazy firework sticking out the end.

"PUT-TA THATA DOWN!" shouted Guiseppe. "That's a grenade-a-launcher! You'll kill both of us!"

I put the grenade launcher down as gently as I could.

I saw that the old man was holding somethin’ shiny in his gnarled up ol’ hand. "Look, all you-a need to a-do is keep-a the regular zombies occupied, while I place this-a enchanted necklace around Rosa's neck. It will-a counter the curse of Mama Yaga and make-a the army collapse. Here," said Guiseppe, as he handed me the heavy fuel-tank-on-a-backpack contraption that holds the gas for a flamethrower.

I slid the thing onto my back and held the flame-throwin' nozzle part (apologies for the military terminology words) in my right hand. I felt real powerful-like.

"WOO-HOO! Now you're talkin'!" I said. "Time to bar-b-que some zombie meat with this bad boy! Light me up, Hombre - it's fry time at the zombie grill! AW YEAH!" I shouted.

Oddly, Guiseppe did not seem to share my enthusiasm for igniting up the zombie hoard like month old Christmas trees in a poor house with faulty wiring.

"Red, those-a zombies are a-people I a-used to know, my ancestors and-a family members and-a such! This is a-very painful-a thing for me! Please, just use the flamethrower to keep them at-a bay and away from-a town! Just distract-a them until I can-a get to Little Rosa and save her. It’s-a my one chance!"

Man, right then I felt a bunch of sadness well up in me. This was all my fault - what with my foolish actions with Mama Yaga that caused the zombie army to be raised in the first place. Heck, you could say I even had a hand in Little Rosa's death, even though I was just a kid doin' the good work of timely and courteous interstate delivery.

I just had to do right by poor Guiseppe.

"You got it, Guiseppe. Keep them at bay. Aw Hell - I can do that!"

"Thank you Red. Thank-a you. I'm-a sure you can keep-a them distracted long enough so we can end-a Mama Yaga's curse forever! Now... let's go!"

Guiseppe shrugged and quickly grabbed a few weapon-type items. We burst out of the double cellar doors on the back of his house, ready for action.

Turns out we was a bit early seein’ as the zombie army shambles along pretty slow-like. It was all quiet outside, like one a-them calms before the storm. I would a-enjoyed it, but my crotch was getting to burnin’ and itchin’ again.

“Say Guiseppe, you wouldn’t happen to have any cold water or ice or something I could throw down my pants? See, when I laid down with Mama Yaga, it seems she might have had…”

“Hush-a, Red! The undead-a approach! Ready yourself-a!”

We could see the zombie army coming over the hill, surrounded by a spooky green glow that reminded me of Halloween time. Little Rosa, in all her decayin’ glory and stuff, was leading the way. A low, horrifying moan emerged from the mass.

"Quick, Guiseppe, break out the Zippo on this thing so I can get to divertin' them!" I said.

He took out his lighter and ignited the pilot flame at the business end of the flame thrower.

I was ready.

Little Rosa, Lotsa Trouble -- The End

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Will you be finishing Little Rosa's a-story ant time-a soon?